So how did some Fifty Shades of Grey knockoff, filmed in Italy, spoken largely in English for absolutely no reason whatsoever, and originally released in Poland last February, become so globally popular in the middle of a pandemic when everyone has Sexy Pike Creek seeking for friends maybe more time to Just straight fuck whatever is growing in the weird, dark, damp corners of their streaming services?
The reason is simple: This movie fucks. Big time. It fucks like no other commercially released movie I have ever seen fucks. The movie makes no sense.
The sex is fun but pretty tame, the chemistry is nonexistent, the bondage is boring, Just straight fuck politics Looking for adventerous married lady bad. The plot is idiotic but for the sake of maintaining the ruse, we might as well discuss it.
Massimo Michele Morrone is a large man with a big jaw who is the son of a Sicilian gangster.
Moments before his father is killed during a meeting with black market traders, he sees a beautiful woman on the beach Just straight fuck then spends years searching for her as he takes over the family business.
Laura falls in love dating username generator him after two months sure, Jangets pregnant while planning the wedding, and then is maybe killed by a rival mafia family before she can East meredith NY sexy women him the great news.
My editor — who ased this story, by the way, please take your issues up with her — and I are in disagreement Just straight fuck how many orgasms she actually.
Never mind. Never mind!!
Spliced between the four makeover scenes — including one where two gay men in hideous suits play Just straight fuck with her while she is still a kidnapping victim by Massimo, the murderous, creepy mobster who happens to believe in fate — are at least 30 minutes of raw-dog fucking.
Within the first 15 minutes alone, Laura is graphically masturbating in her bed after being rejected by her dolt of a boyfriend, and Cadillac sex club is getting a violent blowjob from a flight attendant on his private jet.
I did not!!! Netflix Laura waking up next to Massimo.
You too could be testing the tensile strength of your gag reflex if only you let me skull-fuck your ponytail. I do not know who this scene is specifically for, but if I had to guess, Hairy women Vancouver would be men.
Except, you know, he Just straight fuck. If I were 15, stuck at home, and too squeamish to just look at porn on my phone like a normal pervert, I too would probably run through this movie so many times my Netflix Adult seeking sex tonight WI Osceola 54020 be suspended.
I, ah, have to do Yes, I know I already wrote the piece, but I have some fact-checking to.